AGD Interviews, part 2: Damian

[Mighty Professional]

Hey guys, we at AGD are a pretty tight community. We talk on the chatbox a lot and I thought it would be fun if we got some more information on some of the members. Like little stories about what they do for a living, their life etc. So here is the first interview with Kasplant. I have asked a few questions but most of the information here was gleamed from him talking about his life in the chatbox. So it may have a few slight inaccuracies. So without further ado, here is the interview. I have made it into more of a autobiography as a QA section can be a bit tiresome.

 

Here is part two of the interviews. Some people said that they found the first interview a tad unrealistic, so this time I am sticking to verifiable facts. Once again I am telling the readers about his life in the form of a story, a sort of autobiography if you will. 

 

Quote

Damian was a simple man, and he liked it that way. He liked to spend his evenings surfing the internet and programming late into the night. No one knew how he got a wife or where she came from, but had one he did. Damian also liked a different sort of hobby, the occult. His wife had warned him for many years not to practice the dark arts, but he scoffed at her saying he had a handle on the situation. His name online was "Damian 666" and his avatar was a bloody pentagram. 

 

One day Damian was surfing AGD when his wife burst into the room, little did poor Damian know that his life was about to change in more ways then one. "Im Pregnant!" she declared in glee. "Thats great dear" Damian exclaimed, for they had been trying for many months. However after a brief period of joy Damian came to realize that they would need substantially more income, as they were barely paying the bills as it was with only two mouths to feed.

The next few months were spent looking for gainful employment, though try as he might no one seemed to be hiring. He was starting to lose hope. One day when Damian was home alone, he heard a single knock on the door. The knock seemed to echo out with a burst of cold wind even though the door was not open. Damian thought it was odd to get a visitor at this time, his wife was away at her mothers and he did not have any friends who were coming by today. Before Damian could get out of his chair, the door was flung open and a tall man stood before him. The man was 9 feet tall and had goat horns coming from his forehead. Damian had read of such a man, and realized this was not a man at all. But the devil himself. Before Damian could ask what the Devil was doing here, he spoke "Damian, you are one of the few who still hails my name in the time of technology. Most cower at my name and hide, while you openly declare yourself a member of my army. Today you will reap your reward." Then with a poof the devil disappeared. 

 

Damian quickly went to bed after that, he had been drinking heavily as usual and thought it was just another one of his many fever dreams. The next day Damian awoke to the sound of a ringing telephone, he felt much more refreshed then usual and answered immediately. It was one of the jobs he had applied for, a peanut factory, he was being hired as chief salt engineer. 

 

Many months later, his child was born. She was a spitting image of her father, but alas, there was nothing he could do about that now. Damian had been working long days at the peanut plant, people had stopped showing up for work around the time his daughter was born and he needed to fill more and more shifts. It was not uncommon for him to work 10 hour days. On top of the long hours the plant was not doing well lately, the peanuts that they stocked had gone down in quality. They were often odd sizes, much to big for a peanut. 

 

Damian's daughter was five now, a recent visit to the doctor had shown that she was frightfully underweight. "Feed her more food, or she will die". The doctor said. Damian could not sleep that night, where was the devils reward? Where was what was promised? His legs and feet had been itching terribly lately. He reached down to scratch them and felt an odd blob on his feet. He scratched it some more and it came off on his hand. He turned out the light to look at it, it was a peanut. Must have gotten stuck in his sock at the factory. He popped it into his mouth and went back to bed. The peanut was warm from the body heat and tasted odd in his mouth. 

 

Many more months passed, Damian's daughter was gravely ill. She would pass any day now, they simply did not have any food to give her. He thought about trying smuggle peanuts from the factory back home but was to worried about losing the only job he had. His legs and feet had gone cold from standing on them all day, he had no feeling below the waist.

 

Damian's wife left him the next morning, she would not be there to watch their daughter die of hunger. "One less mouth to feed" she said as she walked out the door, leaving her only child behind. Damian fell to the floor, put his head in his hands and wept. Something felt odd however, he lifted his hands and noticed that they had no feeling in them. They were also paler then normal and covered in salt from the factory. Damian was worried, he started rubbing his feet to get some warmth and some life back into them. However as he was massaging his big toe it crumbled off in his hands. There was no blood, only a crust of salt left behind. Damian realized his body was slowly turning into a peanut. He heard the devil cackle in the back of his mind. This was his reward. Damian ran out of the room in horror to look in the mirror, this only confirmed his fate as most of his body had already turned. 

 

Damian returned to the living room to collect his missing toe, but when he arrived the toe was gone. He saw only his daughter on the floor with a weak smile on her face. "Food" she said and smiled. "Do you have any more?" she pleaded. Damian knew that she would not survive the night without something to eat. "Of course I do" Damian tried to say, but his voice cracked and tears streamed down his face. Damian slowly walked into the kitchen and got a long bread knife, he started shaving off pieces of his leg and feeding them to his daughter. 

 

Several more weeks passed, his daughter was starting to look healthier now and she was enrolled in school. Damian was in a wheelchair as most of his lower body he had already fed to his daughter. He figured he had a few good years left. By that time she would be in college.

 

Damian smiled a sigh of relief, and turned back to programming his game. The devil had given him a rich reward indeed. 

 

That is it guys! I hoped you learned something new about Damian today. I think I might not write anymore of these, I am finding a little to much about the members for my own comfort. 

[panda]

AHAHAHAHAHAHA
That was a hilarious read.

[Ainz Ooal Gown]

Brilliant! Loving these stories Marsh

[Mighty Professional]

Reposted with Permissions from Damian! No longer redacted!